WHAT DO YOU SERVE?
So much of our lives we live on automatic pilot. We go through the motions of our days without much thought as to why we are doing what we are doing. We simply do the things we think we need to do in order to make life happen. By the end of our day we only hope that we got everything done just to wake up and do it all over again. In this way we aren’t living intentionally, but rather only to survive. While this is valid, it doesn’t do much for us in terms of feeling soulfully aligned, fulfilled and like we are completing the mission for our existence. Instead we feel like we are on a treadmill that we can’t get off of because the stuff of life doesn’t stop happening. Eventually we get tired, then exhausted, yet we continue to focus on the stuff of life rather than on why we even exist in the first place.
What we serve is what we focus our time, energy and attention on. Most of us have aspirations to serve something great. Examples of something great would be serving love, joy, freedom, truth, peace, or unity. While many of us might have the aim to serve these things, what most of us end up of serving is our to do list, our emotional states, our frustrations, our limitations, our judgments, our preferences, and our pleasures or comforts. We make these things primary in our life rather than what it is we say or think we desire to make primary or serve. For example say we feel frustrated about something. We tend to focus our energy on the state of being frustrated and what we are frustrated about, rather than on being or feeling peace, which is what we might ideally like to think that we serve. Or say we have 30 things on our to do list for the day and feel overwhelmed. We then keep our feelings of overwhelm in the forefront, rather than focusing on joy. One more example is that we might lose ourselves inside of pleasurable sensations or comfort that may actually be limiting, rather than conjuring up the energy to focus on freedom.
In order to live intentionally devoted to what it is you consciously want to serve requires that you give away your own personal life with all of your preferences and the ways you think/want life to be. 99%, or maybe even 100% of our frustrations have to do with life not looking, feeling or being the way we want it to look, feel or be. However if it is no longer about us, but only about what we serve, it cuts out all the b.s. and confusion. Life becomes very uncomplicated when it is no longer about all of your personal preferences and desires being met, but rather it’s about the reason why you exist, which for most people lives along the lines of serving love, joy, freedom, truth, peace, or unity, and helping others know or experience this too.
GIVING AWAY YOUR SELF
Moving beyond self-indulgence
In order to move beyond our constant self-indulgence in our own preferences, needs, wants, desires, emotional states and thoughts, something has to be even more important than us. This isn’t to dismiss our own inherent value or worth, but rather to make it not so important. There is a development move, stage or step so to speak, from making your self value important, to simply accepting it and understanding that it is. See the paradox is that when we understand, know and accept our own inherent value or worth, all of our own “stuff” doesn’t really take up space inside of us anymore. We don’t need to focus on ourselves. This frees up our internal space to align with our mission, why we exist, and serving that which we desire to serve rather than our own little personal world stuff.
Some people might call this ego death, but it really isn’t as dramatic as spiritual people tend to make it out to be. It’s just a shift in focus. That focus is from your personal life and all of its details and perceived demands being central, to making what you serve to be central. It’s also easy to know your purpose, mission or what you really want to serve. It’s not something that you do or even what you are doing now, but rather it’s what you want people to get by your existence. It’s what you would want everyone in the world to know if you died tomorrow. You can ask yourself the question, “If I died tomorrow what would I want every child, woman, man, animal, etc. to know, experience or feel?” What imprint, information or feeling do you want every person that you interact with to get from you? What quality or energetic vibration do you desire that everything in creation experiences? What kind of world do you want to live in? You must be what you want yourself and others to experience.
In giving away yourself you might be a little cranky and put up a bit of fight. You might feel sad or like a death of sorts, as the focus on your personal dreams perishes. However you will open into something more magnificent that it will be easy to forget your crankiness. Be clear though that what you open up into is not finally getting what you want, which is often what people think is the spiritual reward for surrendering the self. Rather you open into the larger mission of which you are a part of and for which there is so much more support for, than whatever it is you are trying to do on your own, but again it’s not about you. One more time be clear this is not a recipe for things happening how you prefer them to happen. There will still be hard work and showing up, probably way more than you currently do. It also doesn’t mean that your body changes, sensations go away, or that situations or people in your life change. Those things might happen, but this isn’t about them happening. It’s only about you aligning with why you exist and opening yourself to serve that. While you still may not have what you want, living aligned and serving what you desire to serve is actually a 1000 times more rewarding than serving yourself, and a bit relieving because it’s finally not about you.
There is a choice to make and it’s one that you must consciously choose, and continue to choose over and over again until you've got it. That choice is what you serve. This is what you focus on, what you tune your self to, what you put in the forefront over anything that appears in your experience. That choice creates a developmental shift from what we might call a pseudo self-empowerment into the dissolution of self, and thus self-importance. Said another way it’s simply growing up. While it’s an important development step to become a self, it’s also important to realize that you’re not.
Dr. Amanda Love